


One step back

by kazuza



Series: Redemption [2]
Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, F/M, M/M, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:16:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1227766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazuza/pseuds/kazuza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 2 of the Redemption serie<br/>Holly comes to visit Chris again. This time, she wants answers and luckily (or not ?) for her, it fit with Chris own agenda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One step back

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native english speaker so sorry about the weird writing, bad gramar and all lol  
> Any criticisms would be kindly accepted ^_^  
> Thanks for reading!

Holly is in love with her daddy, that _is_ what they have in common. And it's the first step of a good seduction game. The most important one. After that, Chris will easily fills the holes with good looks and sweet talk, he had done it before.

She's back on a Thursday. Same place, same hour, same ponytail of blond/pink hair. Same baby blue eyes smeared with black, waiting, hopeful, yearning even.

“How did you find about me anyway ?” Chris asks, because he's a bit curious.

Little huffing sound, a half smirk, Beecher's typical expression all over her face, making Chris homesick. Toby _sickness_ right inside his belly.

 

 _Are you here Toby? Are YOU in t_ here _?_

 

“I'm your niece remember.”

“Yeah, we look sooo alike.”

“We both have blue eyes.” She replies with a little smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“And pink hair.” He adds playfully.

“Tssk”

Holly makes a patented “You're annoying me” Toby face so Chris stops fooling around and get straight to the point. There will be plenty of time for this later. When Holly will be his.

“You look like Toby. “

Ah, _now_ , she is interested.

“How much ?”

“You don't have pictures ?”

She freezes like caught in ice in one second top and Chris has to pinch his thigh to remind himself not to grin like a lunatic.

 

_t's goin' to be too fuckin' easy._

 

She bites her lips, hardening her face but not quite managing to keep her eyes dry.

“My uncle... He said... Well. Dad is ... not here... Anymore. And we shouldn't dwell in the past. And dad... is _past_.”

Holly doesn't believe this shit and it shows. Chris just has to say it out loud and a connection between them will be. It's so easy he can almost not believe it. Almost.

“It's crap.”

She rises her shiny eyes to meet his, shocked and relieved. He can read it all over her stance, her expression, how she wants so badly to be understand, to be heard. She wants to talk about Beecher and hear about him and nobody at home is giving her that. Nobody can or will but him. Chris owns her so perfectly at this very moment and it's making him all tingly inside. He knows this feeling. The same energy that coursed through his vein when he broke his sweet college boys or when he held Beecher asleep and sated in his arm.

 

_Yeah, this is what power feels like..._

 

“I think about him all the time. I don't need pictures 'cause it's like he's print behind my eyelids. I can see him every fuckin' times I close them. 'Does not mean I live in the past. Just that I loved him. I still do.”

“They threw out the pictures, the toys, the clothes, even the Saint Joseph medal he gave me for my birthday. I had nothing left of him. Nothing! They took away everything and they expect me to... To just...”

Holly's voice catches in her throat. She brushed an arm over her face, angry at herself to get out of control like that. So young and keeping so much inside already. How long before she starts drinking Chris wonders. Never if he has his way.

 

_And I will._

 

“Eh. Holly?” He says, softly but without a trace of pity. She would hates him if he ever pity her.

“You think I'm stupid ?!”

“Do you ?”

“Maybe. Probably. I'm a convict's child. An alcoholic, drugs addict's child. A murderer's child. I should just be grateful they didn't throw me out right?! I should have died with Gary! ”

Ah, the awful things she says, and the way she says it, with so much self-loading she mights as well be a gift send to him with Toby's name on it.

“Yeah, _you_ are stupid Holly. _I_ am a convict, a _murderer_ and an addict. A piece of garbage, a sack of shit, that's what _I am_. Your dad ? He got here by accident and all he did after that ? He did it so he could survive and get out of this hell alive. In this pit, he still tried to help people, he still had the strength to love and protect. He got through Hell on earth and managed to stay a good man ! And the only reason he did it was _you_.”

She's crying freely now but he doesn't stop. He needs to nailed this inside her heart, her brain, her soul even. She's a lock like Beecher was. Only this time, he's not the key. Beecher is. And he had Beecher. For Holly, that means everything.

“He loved you more than his life, his self-respect, his soul. So don't ever say this kind of crap to me again ! He was beautiful and he loved you! Don't you know how fuckin' wonderful you are Holly, to be loved by someone like him ?”

“If he loved me so much, why did he break his parole?! Why did he leave me again!? Why!?”

Chris takes a deep breath before answering this one. He waited for it and could see it coming through all his speech. Still, he has to choose now. Lying or telling the truth, knowing that if he makes the wrong decision, he'll loose her forever. Holly Beecher, his last link to Toby. However, he refuses to be afraid. Gambling is a part of him and Chris will never be something else than himself. Not even for Beecher.

 

_Love it or leave it baby... Don't need to guess what you'd choose though...Since you already did._

 

“He didn't want to. I made him.”

“What ?”

He can see she understands already. She's smart and quick. Like her daddy. So much like him as anger creeps on her sweet face.

“I made him broke his parole. Tricked him, used him, betrayed his trust. The only fault he made was to believe in me.”

“Why?” She asks, expression pinched, anger almost strangling her. “Why did you do this ?”

“Because I loved him.”

“Did you kill him? Was it you?!”

“I didn't push him. But his dead is on me. If I had leave him alone, he'd still be alive, free and happy. With you.”

She looks at him a long time. Her eyes reminds him of Beecher's that fatal day. Dead and cold. But behind the ice, he could still see the hope shine. Back then, Beecher had hoped he'd choose unselfish love and she's hoping for something too. Chris doesn't know what exactly, because even if she looks like Beecher, she's not him and Chris doesn't know her that well yet but still. He can see the chance of making amend to Beecher right know, to speak the truth. Even if it's too fucking late.

“Do you regret it?”

“Every fuckin' days.”

“Would you change what you did if you could?”

“No. I'm not gonna lie to you Holly. I'm not a _good_ person like your daddy was. So if I could go back, I wouldn't go back _this_ day. Because I probably would make the phone call that ended your dad's parole again anyway. I would go back earlier. When they had me transferred in Cedar Junction. And I would end my sorry trash ass.”

Her eyes widen comically, caught between horror, disgust and sadness. Features taunt, nose wet, pink skin turning greyish and red rimmed eyes smeared with black, she almost looks sick. Chris can empathize. He feels exhausted too. Saying the truth being so much more challenging than lying as he finds out.

“Why?”

Voice nothing more than a murmur as she clutches the phone in her square hand, turning her little finger white as snow.

“Because that day, God choose me and gave me the strength to do the right thing.”

 


End file.
